Choosing Someone and Fitting Them

April 2, 2022


I grew up in a household that had high highs and low lows.

Eventually my parents grew apart.

Since then, I’ve thought a lot about love, growing together, and commitment.


Growing Together

What does it take to grow with someone?

What does it take to not drift apart?

What does it take to continue choosing someone even when you’re in different places, and it’s hard to relate?


I think it has something to do with matching.

There are some people that I LOVE spending time with no matter what. Something about them is always what I want, even when we can’t relate on anything else but the moment.


The Idea of “The One”

Obviously the idea of “the one” isn’t completely true, but it holds some truth…

I don’t think anyone can pretend that the person they ended up with was the only person they could have ever ended up with. That becomes an entirely different, more philosophical conversation.

I do think, though, that the idea of “the one” can be helpful. After observing for a long time, I have noticed that there are some people that just fit together.

They’re like puzzle pieces who effortlessly work.

There are two things that create that effortlessness: values and complete acceptance.

They usually have a similar trajectory as indicated by their values, AND they commit with complete understanding and acceptance of the other person’s heart/character.

I don’t think it really works well without both.

You can have good moments, but I don’t just want good moments. I want a good life.