It looks like one question, but it’s actually two.
Throughout your life, you’ll ask yourself this question explicitly and implicitly, and every choice will exist as another response.
I believe this is one of the most important questions a person can answer because the cumulative of a person’s answers becomes a life well or poorly lived.
Unsurprising to those who know me, I often think about the end of my life and ask — would I be satisfied by the life I chose to live?
I want my answer to be a resounding yes but sometimes I lose sight of what that means.
The world has told me what I should want, who I should become, and what is valuable. And though I’m not the type to reject the world, I think there’s value in questioning.
Like so many I grew up wanting from a state of lack — to be pretty enough, smart enough, good enough, nice enough, athletic enough — and the list continues.
But those are never-ending destinations, always just a touch out of reach.
Recently I’ve been thinking about two different ways a person can want. I think there’s wanting from a place of ambition for an end, where your focus is some destination or result. And then there’s wanting from a place of devotion, where you’ve committed to a process, a value system, or a path, and your focus is attuned to the immediate joys and challenges.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once shared, “Life is a journey, not a destination.”
With that said, I think a life well lived starts with the way you want.
When you focus on an end, you prolong satisfaction, and worse, you lie to yourself: “I’ll be satisfied / happy / enough when…”
Wanting from a place of devotion emerges as a commitment to a craft or ideal. It’s about dedication to choose wisely among the everyday challenges ahead.
Instead of believing that the object of your desire exists in a far-off reality, you recognize your desire is entangled in time, stuck between the present moment and a caboodle of simple choices.
So, all this to say, there are two aspects of the “what do you want” question that must live in conjunction — what do you want to commit to and experience daily (journey), and where does that lead you (destination)?
If you don’t like the answer to both questions, readjust.